There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people. There are people that argue on the web for hours about who their favorite character on Friends is.

Quote by Jon Stewart

Topics: Friends Quotes

President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of...

President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of...

Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably...

Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably...

We'd always sworn, we're taking 60 Minutes down. You, Frontline, all you guys. You're meat.

We'd always sworn, we're taking 60 Minutes down. You, Frontline, all you guys. You're meat.

Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or,...

Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or,...

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished...

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished...

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the...

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the...

Just every moment with Dick Cheney has been my favorite. Here's what I wonder about...

Just every moment with Dick Cheney has been my favorite. Here's what I wonder about...

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our...

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our...

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an...

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an...

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will...

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will...

And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts...

And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts...

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about...

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about...

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the...

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the...

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my...

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my...

I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.

I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and...

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and...

Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's...

Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's...

One is a young, pockmarked wiseacre with a smirk that won't quit, the other an...

One is a young, pockmarked wiseacre with a smirk that won't quit, the other an...

The script was just the best I'd read in a long time and I love...

The script was just the best I'd read in a long time and I love...

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied...

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day, I would have studied...