The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

Quote by Elayne Boosler

Topics: Elayne Boosler Quotes

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a...

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a...

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out,...

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out,...

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out,...

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out,...

To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.

To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's...

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's...

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a...

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a...

If one age believes too much it is natural that another believes too little.

If one age believes too much it is natural that another believes too little.

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board...

It is easy to become a monk in one's old age.

It is easy to become a monk in one's old age.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.

I'm so poor I can't even pay attention.

I'm so poor I can't even pay attention.

The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.

The consumer isn't a moron; she is your wife.

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the...

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the...

Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a...

Sex is like bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a...

I've found a formula for avoiding these exaggerated fears of age; you take care of...

I've found a formula for avoiding these exaggerated fears of age; you take care of...

The secret thoughts of a man run over all things, holy, profane, clean, obscene, grave,...

The secret thoughts of a man run over all things, holy, profane, clean, obscene, grave,...

A man's desire is for the woman, but the woman's desire is rarely other than...

A man's desire is for the woman, but the woman's desire is rarely other than...

A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant.

A wit should be no more sincere than a woman constant.