The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.

Quote by Dylan Moran

Topics: Dylan Moran Quotes

I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.

I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.

If I hadn't done this I might have ended up digging the roads.

If I hadn't done this I might have ended up digging the roads.

Red meat is not bad for you

Red meat is not bad for you

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works,...

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works,...

You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy,...

You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy,...

In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me...

In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me...

I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms...

I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms...

Yeah, I think Michael has had to deal with that label of being Michael Caine...

Yeah, I think Michael has had to deal with that label of being Michael Caine...

I don't want to do the same thing over and over again.

I don't want to do the same thing over and over again.

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but...

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but...

I don't really think of myself as an actor.

I don't really think of myself as an actor.

One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear...

One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear...

The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be...

The characters can't be wittier than people are in real life. They have to be...

I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.

I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just get out of a...

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just get out of a...

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm...

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm...

If you don't like my fire, Then don't come around Cause I'm gonna burn one...

If you don't like my fire, Then don't come around Cause I'm gonna burn one...

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.

I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.

A junkie is someone who uses their body to tell society that something is wrong.

A junkie is someone who uses their body to tell society that something is wrong.