The truth is that I'm constitutionally incapable of doing an ordinary job.

Quote by Dylan Moran

Topics: Dylan Moran Quotes

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works,...

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works,...

The trend now is to get away from stage bound sitcoms.

The trend now is to get away from stage bound sitcoms.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign...

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign...

In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me...

In the same way, there is some creature gnawing away inside of me, urging me...

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but...

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but...

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.

You achieve the surreal jokes through the realism by making it elastic.

Red meat is not bad for you

Red meat is not bad for you

You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy,...

You know it's a sad day when your child looks at you and asks 'Daddy,...

Yeah, I think Michael has had to deal with that label of being Michael Caine...

Yeah, I think Michael has had to deal with that label of being Michael Caine...

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm...

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm...

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but...

I can't swim. I can't drive, either. I was going to learn to drive but...

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will...

I think that women just have a primeval instinct to make soup, which they will...

I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s.

I'm actually about as famous as a fourth division footballer from the 70s.

One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear...

One thing that's coming up a lot is: are you as grumpy as you appear...

I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms...

I have no qualifications to do anything else and there weren't any formal application forms...

I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.

I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me.

I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly...

I never thought I want to do anything, really, except not go to work properly...

It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you...

It's true that I have spoken about doing a book before, but then everyone you...

I don't really think of myself as an actor.

I don't really think of myself as an actor.

Showing off seemed to me to be a highly valuable and necessary activity when I...

Showing off seemed to me to be a highly valuable and necessary activity when I...