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I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.

I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.

Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's...

Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's...

Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or,...

Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or,...

GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote,...

GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote,...

Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana. You...

Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana. You...

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We...

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We...

I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.

I was born with an adult head and a tiny body. Like a 'Peanuts' character.

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we...

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we...

There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people....

There is no such thing as an impartial jury because there are no impartial people....

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the...

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the...

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and...

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and...

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy....

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy....

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs...

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs...

We'd always sworn, we're taking 60 Minutes down. You, Frontline, all you guys. You're meat.

We'd always sworn, we're taking 60 Minutes down. You, Frontline, all you guys. You're meat.

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished...

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished...

If the evens of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can...

If the evens of September 11, 2001, have proven anything, it's that the terrorists can...

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the...

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the...

I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted...

I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted...

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will...

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will...

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.