I'm not just a boy toy. I have feelings and dreams like anybody else.

Quote by Jon Stewart

Topics: Jon Stewart Quotes

And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts...

And then you've got Lieberman, who is for the war. And thinks the tax cuts...

McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.

McVeigh's lawyer got him the death penalty, which, quite frankly, I could have done.

GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote,...

GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote,...

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will...

Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will...

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our...

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our...

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished...

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished...

We'd always sworn, we're taking 60 Minutes down. You, Frontline, all you guys. You're meat.

We'd always sworn, we're taking 60 Minutes down. You, Frontline, all you guys. You're meat.

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished...

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished...

You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is...

You can use your idealism to further your aims, if you realize that nothing is...

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and...

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and...

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the...

I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the...

I don't know why people think that somehow the First Amendment applies to network television....

I don't know why people think that somehow the First Amendment applies to network television....

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about...

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about...

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished...

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished...

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an...

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an...

More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance...

More than 150 heads of state attended the UN Summit, giving New Yorkers a chance...

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

Insomnia is my greatest inspiration.

Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably...

Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably...

Swing hard in case you hit it.

Swing hard in case you hit it.

The only completely consistent people are the dead.

The only completely consistent people are the dead.

Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.

Valentine's Day money-saving tip: Break up on February 13th, get back together on the 15th.