The reason so many people turned up at his funeral is that they wanted to make sure he was dead.

Quote by Samuel Goldwyn

Topics: Death And Dying Quotes, Funerals Quotes

Please write music like Wagner, only louder.

Please write music like Wagner, only louder.

Why should people go out and pay money to see bad films when they can...

Why should people go out and pay money to see bad films when they can...

When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.

When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.

I can give you a definite perhaps

I can give you a definite perhaps

Why should people go out and pay money to see bad films when they can...

Why should people go out and pay money to see bad films when they can...

You've got to take the bitter with the sour.

You've got to take the bitter with the sour.

Go see it and see for yourself why you shouldn't go see it.

Go see it and see for yourself why you shouldn't go see it.

I read part of it all the way through.

I read part of it all the way through.

Color television! Bah, I won't believe it until I see it in black and white.

Color television! Bah, I won't believe it until I see it in black and white.

If I look confused it is because I am thinking.

If I look confused it is because I am thinking.

Television has raised writing to a new low.

Television has raised writing to a new low.

A Hospital is no place to be sick.

A Hospital is no place to be sick.

Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.

Give me a smart idiot over a stupid genius any day.

A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.

A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.

A Hospital is no place to be sick.

A Hospital is no place to be sick.

I seriously object to seeing on the screen what belongs in the bedroom.

I seriously object to seeing on the screen what belongs in the bedroom.

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.

Our comedies are not to be laughed at.

Our comedies are not to be laughed at.

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...

Socrates was killed by his own people. He was! [Nods head]. Coz he questioned everything...