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I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose...

I never married because I have three pets at home that answer the same purpose...

If you work in a hospital, you cant easily fake call in sick to work....

If you work in a hospital, you cant easily fake call in sick to work....

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard...

When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important...

When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important...

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...

He had ambitions, at one time, to become a sex maniac, but he failed his...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals...

It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.

Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter.

Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter.

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.

I sang in the choir for years, even though my family belonged to another church.

Man has will, but woman has her way.

Man has will, but woman has her way.

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?

It is good to have friends both in Heaven and Hell?

It is good to have friends both in Heaven and Hell?

That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.

That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.

Children also have artistic ability, and there is wisdom in there having it! The more...

Children also have artistic ability, and there is wisdom in there having it! The more...

The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the...

The rain forest has Sting. Now Siberia has Jack Dee. Someone had to draw the...

One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry...

One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry...

In my country we go to prison first and then become President .

In my country we go to prison first and then become President .

The lovely thing about being 40 is that you can appreciate 25 year old men...

The lovely thing about being 40 is that you can appreciate 25 year old men...

My children will never know what its like, not being able to see a movie...

My children will never know what its like, not being able to see a movie...

That 3 second lap dance you get at the movies when somebody walks by...

That 3 second lap dance you get at the movies when somebody walks by...

Families with babies, and families without babies are sorry for each other.

Families with babies, and families without babies are sorry for each other.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.