A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
Quote by WCFields
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. There's no use being a...
Twas a woman who drove me to drink. I never had the courtesy to thank...
A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.
Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them first...
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at...
Start every day with a smile and get it over with.
I don't drink these days. I am allergic to alcohol and narcotics. I break out...
The surest sign of age is loneliness.
Change is inevitable - except from a vending machine
Had I but served my God with half the zeal I served my king, he...
I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull...
Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
An intellectual is someone who has found something more interesting than sex.
The truth always comes back....either to shake your hand or to slap your face.
When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be...
I saw a notice that said Drink Canada Dry and I've just started.
Youth is full of sport, age's breath is short; youth is nimble, age is lame;...
We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities.
As I give thought to the matter, I find four causes for the apparent misery...
A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it...
Laughter is one of the very privileges of reason, being confined to the human species.