Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Dave Barry Quotes

Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.

Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be...

Guys are simple... women are not simple and they always assume that men must be...

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking....

American business long ago gave up on demanding that prospective employees be honest and hardworking....

1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of...

1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of...

The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those...

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those...

A computer makes it possible to do, in half an hour, tasks which were completely...

A computer makes it possible to do, in half an hour, tasks which were completely...

I've noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child...

I've noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child...

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has...

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has...

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including...

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including...

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he...

If God had wanted us to be concerned for the plight of the toads, he...

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always...

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always...

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for...

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for...

Talking about golf is always boring. (Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part...

Talking about golf is always boring. (Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part...

Yeah, but I'll be working as a marshal. I'll be helping your team find all...

Yeah, but I'll be working as a marshal. I'll be helping your team find all...

If there is a 50-50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9 times out...

If there is a 50-50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9 times out...

Nature has a funny way of breaking what does not bend

Nature has a funny way of breaking what does not bend