Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Dave Barry Quotes

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of...

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of...

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including...

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including...

A computer makes it possible to do, in half an hour, tasks which were completely...

A computer makes it possible to do, in half an hour, tasks which were completely...

Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than...

Buying the right computer and getting it to work properly is no more complicated than...

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to...

Most married couples, even though they love each other very much in theory, tend to...

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is...

Don't you wish you had a job like mine? All you have to do is...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

The world is full of strange phenomena that cannot be explained by the laws of...

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about...

We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about...

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there...

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there...

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is...

Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is...

Talking about golf is always boring. (Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part...

Talking about golf is always boring. (Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part...

The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a...

When a woman marries again it is because she detested her first husband. When a...

No true Witches today practice human sacrafice, torture, or any form of ritual murder. Anyone...

No true Witches today practice human sacrafice, torture, or any form of ritual murder. Anyone...