READING, n. The general body of what one reads. In our country it consists, as a rule, of Indiana novels, short stories in dialect and humor in slang. We know by one's reading His learning and breeding; By what draws…

Quote by Ambrose Bierce

Topics: Humor Quotes

LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from...

LOVE, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage or by removal of the patient from...

RASH, adj. Insensible to the value of our advice.

RASH, adj. Insensible to the value of our advice.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog

INSURRECTION, n. An unsuccessful revolution. Disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.

INSURRECTION, n. An unsuccessful revolution. Disaffection's failure to substitute misrule for bad government.

Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

Mad, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

INJUSTICE, n. A burden which of all those that we load upon others and carry...

INJUSTICE, n. A burden which of all those that we load upon others and carry...

Reconsider, v. To seek a justification for a decision already made.

Reconsider, v. To seek a justification for a decision already made.

We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to...

We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to...

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.

To apologize is to lay the foundation for a future offense.

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is...

Land: A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is...

Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.

Impiety. Your irreverence toward my deity.

History is an account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by...

History is an account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by...

Capital Punishment, a penalty regarding the justice and expediency of which many worthy persons -...

Capital Punishment, a penalty regarding the justice and expediency of which many worthy persons -...

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -...

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -...

Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.

Famous, adj.: Conspicuously miserable.

DOG, n. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and...

DOG, n. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and...

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the...

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the...

Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern...

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern...