One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Internet Quotes

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including...

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including...

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye...

The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye...

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those...

There are two distinctive classes of people today, those who have personal computers, and those...

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

I've noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child...

I've noticed that one thing about parents is that no matter what stage your child...

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.

I find myself having these conversations where I go...You know, the guy, in that place....

I find myself having these conversations where I go...You know, the guy, in that place....

The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from...

The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from...

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

The difference between men and women is that, if given the choice between saving the...

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in...

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in...

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

In America, theres a failure to appreciate Europes leading role in the world.

In America, theres a failure to appreciate Europes leading role in the world.

A nation reveals itself not only by the men it produces but also by the...

A nation reveals itself not only by the men it produces but also by the...