One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Internet Quotes

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl.

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about...

The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about...

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see...

Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see...

I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize,...

I realize that I'm generalizing here, but as is often the case when I generalize,...

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your...

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your...

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including:* Both of your socks...

I have always dressed according to certain Basic Guy Fashion Rules,including:* Both of your socks...

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...

Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games...

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be...

What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be...

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is...

Newspaper readership is declining like crazy. In fact, there's a good chance that nobody is...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship.

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not...

It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not...

Bill Gates is a very rich man today .. and do you want to know...

Bill Gates is a very rich man today .. and do you want to know...

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a...

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a...