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I love you and it's getting worse.

I love you and it's getting worse.

Having a sarcastic conversation with yourself when people are ignoring you.

Having a sarcastic conversation with yourself when people are ignoring you.

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the...

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the...

Love is a minefield. You take a step and get blown to pieces put yourself...

Love is a minefield. You take a step and get blown to pieces put yourself...

You might as well just move onto a boat because you're always fishing for compliments.

You might as well just move onto a boat because you're always fishing for compliments.

Be nice to everyone on your way to the top because you pass them all...

Be nice to everyone on your way to the top because you pass them all...

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

A man's face is his autobiography. A woman's face is her work of fiction.

Zombies are looking for brains. Don't worry. You're safe.

Zombies are looking for brains. Don't worry. You're safe.

Sarcasm: Because screaming at you about how dumb you are and taking a brick and...

Sarcasm: Because screaming at you about how dumb you are and taking a brick and...

That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.

That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.

Oh you have swag? I bet that looks great on a resume...

Oh you have swag? I bet that looks great on a resume...

Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to...

Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to...

If you miss 100% of the shots you don't take and 100% of the shots...

If you miss 100% of the shots you don't take and 100% of the shots...

If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend...

If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend...

I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't...

I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't...

Oh, you're dating my ex...I thought the five second rule was for food only...

Oh, you're dating my ex...I thought the five second rule was for food only...

I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull...

I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull...

I hate it when the cashier's ask, 'Is that everything?' Uhh, no. I'd also like...

I hate it when the cashier's ask, 'Is that everything?' Uhh, no. I'd also like...

There is nothing in this world that never takes a step outside a person's heart.

There is nothing in this world that never takes a step outside a person's heart.

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows. Here is the root of the root and...

Here is the deepest secret nobody knows. Here is the root of the root and...

He that believeth in the Lord taketh heed to the commandment; and he that trusteth...

He that believeth in the Lord taketh heed to the commandment; and he that trusteth...