Of course I can keep a secret. Its the people I tell it to who cant.

Topics: Sarcastic Quotes, Secrets Quotes, Trust Quotes

Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to...

Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to...

Oh you have swag? I bet that looks great on a resume...

Oh you have swag? I bet that looks great on a resume...

Be nice to everyone on your way to the top because you pass them all...

Be nice to everyone on your way to the top because you pass them all...

Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine.

Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine.

Having a sarcastic conversation with yourself when people are ignoring you.

Having a sarcastic conversation with yourself when people are ignoring you.

I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull...

I consider conversations with people to be mind exercises, but I don't want to pull...

Sarcasm: Because screaming at you about how dumb you are and taking a brick and...

Sarcasm: Because screaming at you about how dumb you are and taking a brick and...

I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't...

I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't...

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the...

The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation but not the...

You might as well just move onto a boat because you're always fishing for compliments.

You might as well just move onto a boat because you're always fishing for compliments.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.

I hate it when the cashier's ask, 'Is that everything?' Uhh, no. I'd also like...

I hate it when the cashier's ask, 'Is that everything?' Uhh, no. I'd also like...

That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.

That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.

I wasn't aware that answering my mom's question was considered talking back.

I wasn't aware that answering my mom's question was considered talking back.

Love is a minefield. You take a step and get blown to pieces put yourself...

Love is a minefield. You take a step and get blown to pieces put yourself...

If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend...

If you pretend to be good, the world takes you very seriously. If you pretend...

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.

Women have a wonderful instinct about things. They can discover everything except the obvious.

Your pinky may be the smallest finger but it's capable of holding the biggest secrets.

Your pinky may be the smallest finger but it's capable of holding the biggest secrets.

Still, it's nice to have one person who knows all your secrets.

Still, it's nice to have one person who knows all your secrets.

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

When your lover is a liar, you and he have a lot in common, you're...

When your lover is a liar, you and he have a lot in common, you're...