Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Quote by P J O'Rourke

Topics: Funny Quotes

What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are...

What use is it to endure the Dutch Rubs and Indian Rope Burns that are...

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and...

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the...

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having...

When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having...

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Government proposes, bureaucracy disposes. And the bureaucracy must dispose of government proposals by dumping them...

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

Never fight an inanimate object.

Never fight an inanimate object.

Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?

Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?

It is in the thirties that we want friends. In the forties we know they...

It is in the thirties that we want friends. In the forties we know they...