Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.

Quote by P J O'Rourke

Topics: Funny Quotes

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does...

Whatever it is that the government does, sensible Americans would prefer that the government does...

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

No drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for...

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

I suppose I should get a VCR, but the only thing I like about television...

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage...

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative....

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults...

When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having...

When a couple decide to divorce, they should inform both sets of parents before having...

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death...

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy, the whores...

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the...

Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the...

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

If government were a product, selling it would be illegal.

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

Newsmen believe that news is a tacitly acknowledged fourth branch of the federal system. This...

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Earnestness is stupidity sent to college.

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand,...

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand,...

Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.

Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in...

I think sleeping was my problem in school. If school had started at four in...

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that...

I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my Republican friends... that...