Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will surprise you with their ingenuity.

Quote by George SPatton

Topics: Funny Quotes, People Quotes

If you dont drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, And then...

If you dont drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, And then...

Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.

Accomplishing the impossible means only the boss will add it to your regular duties.

The execs don't care what color you are. They care about how much money you...

The execs don't care what color you are. They care about how much money you...

Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare...

Strength is the ability to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare...

To teach how to live without certainty, and yet without, being paralyzed by hesitation, is...

To teach how to live without certainty, and yet without, being paralyzed by hesitation, is...

Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably...

Happy Valentine's Day! And if this is news to you, my guess is you're probably...

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.

No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.

You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk-dancing.

You should make a point of trying every experience once, excepting incest and folk-dancing.

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all...

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all...

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up,...

I've been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout. That's where I wake up,...

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk.

I'm a one-man idiot.

I'm a one-man idiot.

I look at going to Hollywood as going behind enemy lines. You parachute in, set...

I look at going to Hollywood as going behind enemy lines. You parachute in, set...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's...

How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four....

How many legs does a dog have if you call the tail a leg? Four....

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Older people shouldn't eat health food, they need all the preservatives they can get.

Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it...

Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it...

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be

Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be