My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

Quote by Jay London

Topics: Jay London Quotes

I model irregular clothing.

I model irregular clothing.

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He...

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He...

People read me but they don't subscribe.

People read me but they don't subscribe.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.

I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they...

I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they...

I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.

I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.

I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be',...

I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be',...

I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we...

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we...

Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.

Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.

You know what burns me? Matches.

You know what burns me? Matches.

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.

I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

It all started when my dog began getting free roll over minutes.

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling...

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling...

At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for...

At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for...

They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the...

They asked me what I thought about euthanasia. I said I'm more concerned about the...