I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.

Quote by Jay London

Topics: Jay London Quotes

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry...

I told my therapist I was having nightmares about nuclear explosions. He said don't worry...

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He...

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He...

I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they...

I'm convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb - they...

I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed...

I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed...

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.

Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?

Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?

I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.

I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.

I model irregular clothing.

I model irregular clothing.

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.

I went out with a promiscuous impressionist - she did everybody.

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling...

I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling...

Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.

Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.

At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for...

At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for...

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

My whole family is lactose intolerant and when we take pictures we can't say cheese.

I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.

A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.

I recorded my hair this morning, tonight I'm watching the highlights.

I saw a stationery store move.

I saw a stationery store move.

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we...

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part, cause we...

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.

My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality.