My retirement plan is to find a shopping cart with good snow tires.

Quote by Patty Doyle

Topics: Funny Quotes, Retirement Quotes

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is...

The one thing women don't want to find in their stockings on Christmas morning is...

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year...

I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year...

Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.

Early to bed and early to rise probably indicates unskilled labor.

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

The only completely consistent people are the dead.

The only completely consistent people are the dead.

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to...

Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to...

The parents age must be remembered, both for joy and anxiety.

The parents age must be remembered, both for joy and anxiety.

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the...

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the...

There sit the sainted sage, the bard divine, The few, whom genius gave to shine...

There sit the sainted sage, the bard divine, The few, whom genius gave to shine...

Big news on CNN, a search has uncovered illegal biochemical agents, toxins and other dangerous...

Big news on CNN, a search has uncovered illegal biochemical agents, toxins and other dangerous...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.

To many people holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance.

To many people holidays are not voyages of discovery, but a ritual of reassurance.

I have never been hurt by what I have not said.

I have never been hurt by what I have not said.

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like...

In awe I watched the waxing moon ride across the zenith of the heavens like...

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings.

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer...

You go to your TV to turn your brain off. You go to the computer...

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.

Retired is being tired twice, I've thought, first tired of working, then tired of not

Retired is being tired twice, I've thought, first tired of working, then tired of not