My retirement plan is to find a shopping cart with good snow tires.
Quote by Patty Doyle
Sex is a two way treat and is only dirty when it's done right.
Sister to sister we will always be, a couple of nuts off the family tree.
Only one man in a thousand is a leader of men -- the other 999...
Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French...
Love ceases to be a pleasure, when it ceases to be a secret.
Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...
Age steals away all things, even the mind.
It's easy to play any musical instrument: all you have to do is touch the...
If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera...
Dreams are renewable. No matter what our age or condition, there are still untapped possibilities...
Never fight an inanimate object.
Let's have some new cliches.
Every time I see something terrible, it's like I see it at age 19. I...
Age is a matter of feeling, not of years.
People change and forget to tell each other.
Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course...the space between your ears.
Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.
Never retire. Michelangelo was carving the Rondanini just before he died at eighty-nine. Verdi finished...