My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Chess Quotes

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish...

The only kind of seafood I trust is the fish stick, a totally featureless fish...

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

The Sixties are now considered a historical period, just like the Roman Empire.

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around...

I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around...

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to...

If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its...

If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its...

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been...

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

The nuclear generator of brain sludge is television.

1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of...

1996 also saw a huge expansion of the Internet, with many major corporations, afraid of...

I find myself having these conversations where I go...You know, the guy, in that place....

I find myself having these conversations where I go...You know, the guy, in that place....

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.

Litigation is the pursuit of practical ends, not a game of chess.

Litigation is the pursuit of practical ends, not a game of chess.