My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law.

Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: Death And Dying Quotes, Fear Quotes, Speech Quotes

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a...

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a...

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to...

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to...

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing....

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing....

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little...

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little...

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are...

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are...

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final...

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final...

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I...

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I...

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top...

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top...

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.