My father was a simple man. My mother was a simple woman. You see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton

Quote by Chic Murray

Topics: Funny Quotes

My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldn't wish to meet....

My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldn't wish to meet....

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to...

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to...

Remember that you have only one soul; that you have only one death to die;...

Remember that you have only one soul; that you have only one death to die;...

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it...

You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is...

You have a choice. Live or die. Every breath is a choice. Every minute is...

If you think about disaster, you will get it. Brood about death and you hasten...

If you think about disaster, you will get it. Brood about death and you hasten...

Death - the last sleep? No, it is the final awakening.

Death - the last sleep? No, it is the final awakening.

Shotgunning anybody in this room would be the moral equivalent of killing a car, a...

Shotgunning anybody in this room would be the moral equivalent of killing a car, a...

Here in the bathroom with me are razor blades. Here is iodine to drink. Here...

Here in the bathroom with me are razor blades. Here is iodine to drink. Here...

Loss and possession, death and life are one, There falls no shadow where there shines...

Loss and possession, death and life are one, There falls no shadow where there shines...

Death be not proud, though some have called thee Mighty and dreadful, for thou art...

Death be not proud, though some have called thee Mighty and dreadful, for thou art...

The Humble, Meek, Merciful, Just, Pious and Devout Souls, are everywhere of one religion; and...

The Humble, Meek, Merciful, Just, Pious and Devout Souls, are everywhere of one religion; and...

Mere factual innocence is no reason not to carry out a death sentence properly reached.

Mere factual innocence is no reason not to carry out a death sentence properly reached.

Do not seek death. Death will find you. But seek the road which makes death...

Do not seek death. Death will find you. But seek the road which makes death...

Death is as casual-and often as unexpected-as birth. It is as difficult to define grief...

Death is as casual-and often as unexpected-as birth. It is as difficult to define grief...

It is the cause and not the death that makes the martyr.

It is the cause and not the death that makes the martyr.

I have good hope that there is something after death.

I have good hope that there is something after death.

Nothing is more sad than the death of an illusion.

Nothing is more sad than the death of an illusion.

Ill see you forever For you are a part of me And I myself a...

Ill see you forever For you are a part of me And I myself a...

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.