I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.

Quote by Winston Spear

Topics: Funny Quotes, People Quotes

I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.

I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner.

In the end, everything is a gag.

In the end, everything is a gag.

Sex is a two way treat and is only dirty when it's done right.

Sex is a two way treat and is only dirty when it's done right.

I have discovered in 20 years of moving around a ballpark, that the knowledge of...

I have discovered in 20 years of moving around a ballpark, that the knowledge of...

At what point to people get in their car and think 'I'm going to take...

At what point to people get in their car and think 'I'm going to take...

Save a boyfriend for a rainy dayand another, in case it doesn't rain.

Save a boyfriend for a rainy dayand another, in case it doesn't rain.

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch.

The Irish ignore anything they can't drink or punch.

Hes a guy who gets up at six oclock in the morning regardless of what...

Hes a guy who gets up at six oclock in the morning regardless of what...

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted...

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted...

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday...

With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday...

When you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.

When you lie down with dogs, you get up with fleas.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

I must confess, I was born at a very early age.

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age.

A woman can keep one secret - the secret of her age.

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.

One can always tell it's summer when one sees school teachers hanging about the streets...

One can always tell it's summer when one sees school teachers hanging about the streets...

For life in general, there is but one decree; youth is a blunder, manhood a...

For life in general, there is but one decree; youth is a blunder, manhood a...

If a writer has to rob his mother, he will not hesitate: The 'Ode on...

If a writer has to rob his mother, he will not hesitate: The 'Ode on...

when life gives you lemons make orange juice and leave them wondering how you did...

when life gives you lemons make orange juice and leave them wondering how you did...

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will...

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will...