My bed is a time machine. I lay down for 5 minutes and the next thing I know, its 5 hours later...

Topics: Humor Quotes, Relation Quotes, Sleep Quotes, Time Quotes

Were it not for my little jokes, I could not bear the burdens of this...

Were it not for my little jokes, I could not bear the burdens of this...

When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when...

When humor can be made to alternate with melancholy, one has a success, but when...

I think it's because it's so different and it takes risks. Plus, it's really smart...

I think it's because it's so different and it takes risks. Plus, it's really smart...

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is...

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is...

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a...

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a...

It is in literature that the concrete outlook of humanity receives its expression

It is in literature that the concrete outlook of humanity receives its expression

I have wit in my work and a sense of humor, but I do not...

I have wit in my work and a sense of humor, but I do not...

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot...

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot...

Good taste and humor are a contradiction in terms, like a chaste whore.

Good taste and humor are a contradiction in terms, like a chaste whore.

Humor comes from self-confidence.

Humor comes from self-confidence.

The door that will no longer open is usually the one that you slammed shut.

The door that will no longer open is usually the one that you slammed shut.

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze...

There seems to be no lengths to which humorless people will not go to analyze...

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'

It was hard for me to do the show (All American Girl) because a lot...

It was hard for me to do the show (All American Girl) because a lot...

Humor is wit and love.

Humor is wit and love.

I take people very seriously. People are all I take seriously, in fact. Therefore, I...

I take people very seriously. People are all I take seriously, in fact. Therefore, I...

When I saw you, I saw love. When I saw you naked, I saw lust....

When I saw you, I saw love. When I saw you naked, I saw lust....

My mom told me to follow my dreams, so I took a nap.

My mom told me to follow my dreams, so I took a nap.

That FML moment when; you hop into bed, get under your covers, then realized you...

That FML moment when; you hop into bed, get under your covers, then realized you...

Space by itself, and time by itself, are doomed to fade away into mere shadows,...

Space by itself, and time by itself, are doomed to fade away into mere shadows,...