MUMMY, n. An ancient Egyptian, formerly in universal use among modern civilized nations as medicine, and now engaged in supplying art with an excellent pigment. He is handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish…

Quote by Ambrose Bierce

Topics: Ambrose Bierce Quotes

ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of...

ELEGY, n. A composition in verse, in which, without employing any of the methods of...

A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity...

A total abstainer is one who abstains from everything but abstention, and especially from inactivity...

Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to...

Prescription: A physician's guess at what will best prolong the situation with least harm to...

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

Happiness: an agreeable sensation arising from contemplating the misery of another.

Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

Life - a spiritual pickle preserving the body from decay.

Edible - good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad,...

Edible - good to eat and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad,...

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.

Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.

A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks...

A person who doubts himself is like a man who would enlist in the ranks...

History is an account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by...

History is an account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by...

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

Laziness. Unwarranted repose of manner in a person of low degree.

Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored...

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored...

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -...

Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -...

The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them...

The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them...

LAOCOON, n. A famous piece of antique scripture representing a priest of that name and...

LAOCOON, n. A famous piece of antique scripture representing a priest of that name and...

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever...

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever...

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern...

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern...

If two hitherto rival football teams, under the influence of brotherly love, decided to co-operate...

If two hitherto rival football teams, under the influence of brotherly love, decided to co-operate...

Every time I went away I was deceiving my mum. I'd tell her I was...

Every time I went away I was deceiving my mum. I'd tell her I was...