MUMMY, n. An ancient Egyptian, formerly in universal use among modern civilized nations as medicine, and now engaged in supplying art with an excellent pigment. He is handy, too, in museums in gratifying the vulgar curiosity that serves to distinguish…

Quote by Ambrose Bierce

Topics: Ambrose Bierce Quotes

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern...

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern...

Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

Fidelity - a virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the...

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the...

Laughter is an interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate...

Laughter is an interior convulsion, producing a distortion of the features and accompanied by inarticulate...

The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them...

The best thing to do with the best things in life is to give them...

ARISTOCRACY, n. Government by the best men. (In this sense the word is obsolete; so...

ARISTOCRACY, n. Government by the best men. (In this sense the word is obsolete; so...

We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to...

We submit to the majority because we have to. But we are not compelled to...

Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and...

Friendless. Having no favors to bestow. Destitute of fortune. Addicted to utterance of truth and...

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.

To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

To be positive is to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are...

I never said all Democrats were saloonkeepers. What I said was that all saloonkeepers are...

PATRIOTISM, n. Combustible rubbish read to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his...

PATRIOTISM, n. Combustible rubbish read to the torch of any one ambitious to illuminate his...

Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

Cabbage: a familiar kitchen-garden vegetable about as large and wise as a man's head.

Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of...

Impartial - unable to perceive any promise of personal advantage from espousing either side of...

MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines. Malthus believed in artificially limiting population, but...

MALTHUSIAN, adj. Pertaining to Malthus and his doctrines. Malthus believed in artificially limiting population, but...

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

My night has become a sunny dawn because of you.

My night has become a sunny dawn because of you.

Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love

Love is the dawn of marriage, and marriage is the sunset of love

When a woman reaches orgasm with a man she is only collaborating with the patriarchal...

When a woman reaches orgasm with a man she is only collaborating with the patriarchal...

He who sleeps in continual noise is wakened by silence

He who sleeps in continual noise is wakened by silence

Never does nature say one thing and wisdom another

Never does nature say one thing and wisdom another