It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.

Quote by Bob Newhart

Topics: Bob Newhart Quotes

It was a decision to work clean. I just prefer to work that way. I...

It was a decision to work clean. I just prefer to work that way. I...

Jack Benny was, without a doubt, the bravest comedian I have ever seen work. He...

Jack Benny was, without a doubt, the bravest comedian I have ever seen work. He...

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with...

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with...

I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If...

I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If...

This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw...

This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw...

I was influenced by every comedian I ever saw work. That's the only way you...

I was influenced by every comedian I ever saw work. That's the only way you...

I don't have a stack of scripts.

I don't have a stack of scripts.

I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little...

I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little...

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always...

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always...

All I can say about life is, 'Oh God, enjoy it!'

All I can say about life is, 'Oh God, enjoy it!'

I'm very open to the up-and-comers.

I'm very open to the up-and-comers.

I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have...

I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have...

I've been a very lucky actor.

I've been a very lucky actor.

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And...

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And...

The first time I got up in front of an audience was terror, abject terror,...

The first time I got up in front of an audience was terror, abject terror,...

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And...

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And...

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with...

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with...

Laughter would be bereaved if snobbery died.

Laughter would be bereaved if snobbery died.

What is pornography to one man is the laughter of genius to another.

What is pornography to one man is the laughter of genius to another.

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.

With mirth and laughter let old wrinkles come.