I'm stranded all alone in the gas station of love, and I have to use the self service pump.

Quote by Weird Al Yankovic

Topics: Weird Al Yankovic Quotes

You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but...

You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but...

Buy our album, were Nirvana, a garage band from Seattle. Well, it sure beats raising...

Buy our album, were Nirvana, a garage band from Seattle. Well, it sure beats raising...

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.

Velvet Elvis never puts on weight.

Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt.

Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt.

Boys like Peter are afraid of alot of things, like nuclear annihilation and flunking algebra,...

Boys like Peter are afraid of alot of things, like nuclear annihilation and flunking algebra,...

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem that time that you made it...

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem that time that you made it...

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing,...

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing,...

I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse,...

I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse,...

I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.

I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.

I love Rocky Road.

I love Rocky Road.

He died a long painful death. However, you'll be happy to hear that just a...

He died a long painful death. However, you'll be happy to hear that just a...

My wife went off with Elvis.

My wife went off with Elvis.

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty...

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty...

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend...

I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend...

I was abducted by some aliens from space who kind a looked like Jamie Farr.

I was abducted by some aliens from space who kind a looked like Jamie Farr.

Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.

Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.

You can play some schlock like New Kids On the Block.

You can play some schlock like New Kids On the Block.

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on...

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on...