I dated Siamese twins, I slept with Big Foot, too. Get me on Sally Jesse, put me on Donahue.

Quote by Weird Al Yankovic

Topics: Weird Al Yankovic Quotes

You can play some schlock like New Kids On the Block.

You can play some schlock like New Kids On the Block.

I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.

I knew we were having problems when you put those piranhas in my bathtub again.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World...

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World...

He died a long painful death. However, you'll be happy to hear that just a...

He died a long painful death. However, you'll be happy to hear that just a...

I was abducted by some aliens from space who kind a looked like Jamie Farr.

I was abducted by some aliens from space who kind a looked like Jamie Farr.

Take down those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine.

Take down those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine.

The window doesn't open, the fan is broke, and my face is turning blue. I...

The window doesn't open, the fan is broke, and my face is turning blue. I...

You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but...

You can try on our suede underwear if you choose. Do what you want, but...

My velvet Elvis means the world to me. Although he may not be worth much...

My velvet Elvis means the world to me. Although he may not be worth much...

I'm just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of...

I'm just a no-good, scum sucking, nose picking, boot licking, sniveling, groveling, worthless hunk of...

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem that time that you made it...

I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem that time that you made it...

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty...

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty...

Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.

Midget wrestling on channel 3, it costs me 50 bucks a month.

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing,...

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing,...

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork.

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on...

Left all my Beatle records out in the sun, got a coke bottle stuck on...

Until you came along I never dated anyone this low on the food chain.

Until you came along I never dated anyone this low on the food chain.

I love Rocky Road.

I love Rocky Road.

Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt.

Every night for dinner we had a big chunk of dirt.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.