I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

Quote by Shelley Winters

Topics: Fat Quotes, Funny Quotes

It was so cold I almost got married.

It was so cold I almost got married.

I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

Now that I'm over sixty I'm veering toward respectability.

Now that I'm over sixty I'm veering toward respectability.

Every now and then, when you're on stage, you hear the best sound a player...

Every now and then, when you're on stage, you hear the best sound a player...

All marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.

All marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.

I was so cold the other day, I almost got married.

I was so cold the other day, I almost got married.

I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if...

I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if...

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.

Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage,...

Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage,...

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

Don't knock masturbation - it's sex with someone I love

It's kind of fun to do the impossible.

It's kind of fun to do the impossible.

Those who can do, those who can't teach.

Those who can do, those who can't teach.

Zombies are looking for brains. Don't worry. You're safe.

Zombies are looking for brains. Don't worry. You're safe.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf...

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf...

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human...

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human...

I am definitely not scared of Mike Tyson. I am at the top of the...

I am definitely not scared of Mike Tyson. I am at the top of the...

Why does a person even get up in the morning? You have breakfast, you floss...

Why does a person even get up in the morning? You have breakfast, you floss...

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.

If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.