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I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

It was so cold I almost got married.

It was so cold I almost got married.

Now that I'm over sixty I'm veering toward respectability.

Now that I'm over sixty I'm veering toward respectability.

All marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.

All marriages are happy. It's trying to live together afterwards that causes all the problems.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

I have bursts of being a lady, but it doesn't last long.

Every now and then, when you're on stage, you hear the best sound a player...

Every now and then, when you're on stage, you hear the best sound a player...

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.

,

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.

I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

,

I'm not overweight. I'm just nine inches too short.

I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if...

I think on-stage nudity is disgusting, shameful and damaging to all things American. But if...

I was so cold the other day, I almost got married.

I was so cold the other day, I almost got married.