If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should - you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Dave Barry Quotes

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety...

Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by...

Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a...

And so by the fifteenth century, on October 8, the Europeans were looking for a...

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a...

It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a...

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face.

I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting,...

I hate rap music, which to me sounds like a bunch of angry men shouting,...

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always...

Have you noticed that whatever sport you're trying to learn, some earnest person is always...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument...

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in...

What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in...

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when...

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when...

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of...

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of...

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat.

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

If you have a big enough dictionary, just about everything is a word.

In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the...

In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the...

When making a decision of minor importance, I have always found it advantageous to consider...

When making a decision of minor importance, I have always found it advantageous to consider...

None of us is responsible for the complexion of his skin. This fact of nature...

None of us is responsible for the complexion of his skin. This fact of nature...