Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Dave Barry Quotes

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that...

Experts agree that the best type of computer for your individual needs is one that...

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I...

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I...

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage...

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who...

Eugene is located in western Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything.

Eugene is located in western Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything.

In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the...

In fact, just about all the major natural attractions you find in the West- the...

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally...

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally...

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for...

It always rains on tents. Rainstorms will travel thousands of miles, against prevailing winds for...

Talking about golf is always boring. (Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part...

Talking about golf is always boring. (Playing golf can be interesting, but not the part...

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

If you were to open up a baby's head - and I am not for...

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

Mankind when left to themselves, are unfit for their own Government.

Mankind when left to themselves, are unfit for their own Government.

The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men...

The men the American people admire most extravagantly are the most daring liars; the men...