Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

Quote by Dave Barry

Topics: Dave Barry Quotes

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the...

For me, the worst part of playing golf, by far, has always been hitting the...

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as...

Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.

Skiers view snowboarders as a menace; snowboarders view skiers as Elmer Fudd.

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

Your modern teenager is not about to listen to advice from an old person, defined...

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula.

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not...

I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not...

In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can...

In 1765, Parliament passed the Stamp Act, which, as any American high school student can...

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that...

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that...

Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a...

Entire new continent can emerge from the ocean in the time it takes for a...

A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages

A program is a spell cast over a computer, turning input into error messages

We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who...

We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who...

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can...

I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can...

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has...

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks...

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since...

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant...

She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.

She's so pure, Moses couldn't even part her knees.

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course...

My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course...

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

The Net is the ultimate empowerment tool. You have the right to express your opinion...

The Net is the ultimate empowerment tool. You have the right to express your opinion...

If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace.

If everyone demanded peace instead of another television set, then there'd be peace.