If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.

Quote by Jay Leno

Topics: Jay Leno Quotes

Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal...

Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal...

Now see, a lot of critics are saying Arnold can't get elected because he's just...

Now see, a lot of critics are saying Arnold can't get elected because he's just...

Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia...

Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia...

Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia...

Al Gore has found a new job. He is going to teach journalism at Columbia...

Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, Well, this has been fun, but we know you have...

Thanksgiving, when the Indians said, Well, this has been fun, but we know you have...

Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on...

Bob Dole revealed he is one of the test subjects for Viagra. He said on...

More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has...

More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has...

The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least...

The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least...

For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make...

For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make...

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back...

New Year's Eve, where auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless, of course, those tests come back...

President Bush said this Iraq situation looks like 'the rerun of a bad movie.' Well...

President Bush said this Iraq situation looks like 'the rerun of a bad movie.' Well...

The University of Ilinois has hired 15 women to smell pig manure all day so...

The University of Ilinois has hired 15 women to smell pig manure all day so...

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins...

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins...

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.

Do you know what White House correspondents call actors who pose as reporters? Anchors.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election....

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of LA in the next election....

Forty million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn't like it were Judge Ginsberg,...

Forty million Americans smoked marijuana; the only ones who didn't like it were Judge Ginsberg,...

Big news on CNN, a search has uncovered illegal biochemical agents, toxins and other dangerous...

Big news on CNN, a search has uncovered illegal biochemical agents, toxins and other dangerous...

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas...

Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas...

My age is as a lusty winter, frosty but kindly.

My age is as a lusty winter, frosty but kindly.

Violence has no constitutional sanction; and every government from the beginning has moved against it....

Violence has no constitutional sanction; and every government from the beginning has moved against it....