I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new song on the radio I think, Hey, maybe I wrote that.

Quote by Stephen Wright

Topics: Stephen Wright Quotes

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he...

I busted a mirror and got seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he...

I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went...

I bought a self learning record to learn Spanish. I turned it on and went...

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said,...

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said,...

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one...

I put a new engine in my car, but forgot to take the old one...

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped...

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped...

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I...

My friend has a baby. I'm recording all the noises he makes so later I...

My friend has a baby, I am recording all the noises he makes so I...

My friend has a baby, I am recording all the noises he makes so I...

He was a multi-millionaire. Wanna know how he made all of his money? He designed...

He was a multi-millionaire. Wanna know how he made all of his money? He designed...

I invented the cordless extension cord.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

Well, you know when you're rocking in a rocking chair, and you go so far...

Well, you know when you're rocking in a rocking chair, and you go so far...

I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how...

I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how...

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint,...

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint,...

I consciously choose the dog's path through life. I shall be poor; I shall be...

I consciously choose the dog's path through life. I shall be poor; I shall be...

The world today doesn't make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do?

The world today doesn't make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do?

When one paints an ideal, one does not need to limit one's imagination.

When one paints an ideal, one does not need to limit one's imagination.