Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.

Quote by Dorothy Parker

Topics: Funny Quotes, Sex Quotes

If you want to see what God thinks of money, just look at all the...

If you want to see what God thinks of money, just look at all the...

If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the...

If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the...

The only ism Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

The only ism Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill....

Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill....

How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try...

How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try...

Scratch a lover, find a foe

Scratch a lover, find a foe

All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine...

All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine...

All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine...

All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine...

I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the...

I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the...

Gratitude - the meanest and most snivelling attribute in the world.

Gratitude - the meanest and most snivelling attribute in the world.

Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill....

Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill....

Sorrow is tranquillity remembered in emotion.

Sorrow is tranquillity remembered in emotion.

Every love's the love before in a duller dress

Every love's the love before in a duller dress

That woman speaks eight languages and can't say no in any of them.

That woman speaks eight languages and can't say no in any of them.

Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.

Idleness, sorrow, a friend, and a foe.

Summer makes me drowsy. Autumn makes me sing. Winter's pretty lousy, but I hate Spring.

Summer makes me drowsy. Autumn makes me sing. Winter's pretty lousy, but I hate Spring.

He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would...

He and I had an office so tiny that an inch smaller and it would...

Ive looked on many women with lust. Ive committed adultery in my heart many times....

Ive looked on many women with lust. Ive committed adultery in my heart many times....

It is not difficult to deceive the first time, for the deceived possesses no antibodies;...

It is not difficult to deceive the first time, for the deceived possesses no antibodies;...

You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are now extinct

You know, of course, that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are now extinct

Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man...

Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man...