Ducking for apples - change one letter and it's the story of my life.

Quote by Dorothy Parker

Topics: Funny Quotes, Sex Quotes

Prince, a precept I'd leave for you, Coined in Eden, existing yet: Skirt the parlor,...

Prince, a precept I'd leave for you, Coined in Eden, existing yet: Skirt the parlor,...

I am never going to be famous...I do not do anything. Not one single thing....

I am never going to be famous...I do not do anything. Not one single thing....

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant,...

The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant,...

Enjoyed it! One more drink and I'd have been under the host.

Enjoyed it! One more drink and I'd have been under the host.

The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.'

The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'cheque enclosed.'

Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill....

Money was made, not to command our will, But all our lawful pleasures to fulfill....

Work is the province of cattle.

Work is the province of cattle.

The only ism Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

The only ism Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.

Four be the things I'd have been better without: love, curiosity, freckles and doubt.

If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the...

If you're going to write, don't pretend to write down. It's going to be the...

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch...

Love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch...

How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try...

How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try...

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is...

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song, A medley of extemporanea; And love is...

All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine...

All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine...

The only 'ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

The only 'ism' Hollywood believes in is plagiarism.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people...

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people...

Sometimes I think Ill give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on...

Sometimes I think Ill give up trying, and just go completely Russian and sit on...

All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine...

All those writers who write about their childhood! Gentle God, if I wrote about mine...

I work until beer oclock.

I work until beer oclock.

Virginia Woolf said that writers must be androgynous. I'll go a step further. You must...

Virginia Woolf said that writers must be androgynous. I'll go a step further. You must...