I realized Facebook was a drug when I caught myself sneaking into the bathroom at work just to use it.

Topics: Funny Facebook Status Quotes

Opening your cabinet, seeing there's about to be an avalanche of stuff falling, and quickly...

Opening your cabinet, seeing there's about to be an avalanche of stuff falling, and quickly...

I have a memory foam mattress...and I really hope that it doesn't remember everything.

I have a memory foam mattress...and I really hope that it doesn't remember everything.

I felt so bad last night for having this one night stand, the following day...

I felt so bad last night for having this one night stand, the following day...

One time at the beach this guy was swimming in the ocean yelling 'Help! Shark!...

One time at the beach this guy was swimming in the ocean yelling 'Help! Shark!...

I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing...

I lose all respect for myself when I bite my own tongue. I've been chewing...

In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have...

In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have...

Hopefully one day your life will be as cool as you make it appear on...

Hopefully one day your life will be as cool as you make it appear on...

Sometimes when my internet is down I forget the rest of my computer still works....

Sometimes when my internet is down I forget the rest of my computer still works....

When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a...

When girls hack a friends Facebook account: 'I love you b*tch!' When boys hack a...

Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed...

Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed...

Apple was considering making an iPod for kids but apparently, the name 'iTouch Kids' didn't...

Apple was considering making an iPod for kids but apparently, the name 'iTouch Kids' didn't...

The closest that I've gotten to murder: Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles...

The closest that I've gotten to murder: Holding Oreos under the milk until the bubbles...

The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up...

The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up...

Sometimes at home I talk in my sleep, but at school I sleep while others...

Sometimes at home I talk in my sleep, but at school I sleep while others...

On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bitches, 11...

On the 12th day of Christmas, my Facebook gave too me, 12 stupid bitches, 11...

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

Dear guy on the dance floor 'Raising the roof,' you're not raising your chances of...

Dear guy on the dance floor 'Raising the roof,' you're not raising your chances of...

I wonder who the first person was to see an egg come out of a...

I wonder who the first person was to see an egg come out of a...