I realized Facebook was a drug when I caught myself sneaking into the bathroom at work just to use it.

Topics: Funny Facebook Status Quotes

My parents told me 'You watch too much TV and should try reading more!' So...

My parents told me 'You watch too much TV and should try reading more!' So...

Calories are just little tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes...

Calories are just little tiny creatures that live in your closet and sew your clothes...

Sex is like high school...you miss a period and you're in trouble.

Sex is like high school...you miss a period and you're in trouble.

I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they...

I could be in another country but if someone is waiting on me and they...

DAD: Wanna Hear A Joke Son? SON: Yes DAD: Pussy SON: I Don't Get It......

DAD: Wanna Hear A Joke Son? SON: Yes DAD: Pussy SON: I Don't Get It......

Nothing makes me want a relationship to fail more than matching profile pictures.

If you try to watch the movie Titanic backwards...it's actually about a magical boat that...

If you try to watch the movie Titanic backwards...it's actually about a magical boat that...

Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is calling me a doctor...

Teens moms, calling yourself a mother because you gave birth is calling me a doctor...

Apple was considering making an iPod for kids but apparently, the name 'iTouch Kids' didn't...

Apple was considering making an iPod for kids but apparently, the name 'iTouch Kids' didn't...

Dear Face Wash Commercials, nobody actually splashes their face with water like that. Sincerely, my...

Dear Face Wash Commercials, nobody actually splashes their face with water like that. Sincerely, my...

When I was younger, I would put my face close to a fan & talk...

When I was younger, I would put my face close to a fan & talk...

The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock this morning is the fact...

The only thing preventing me from smashing my alarm clock this morning is the fact...

My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and...

My 'check engine' light came on while driving to work this morning. I looked and...

I've always wanted to get into a cab and yell, 'Follow that car!!!'

I've always wanted to get into a cab and yell, 'Follow that car!!!'

That uncomfortable moment when you're in the car and you look at the people in...

That uncomfortable moment when you're in the car and you look at the people in...

I have a memory foam mattress...and I really hope that it doesn't remember everything.

I have a memory foam mattress...and I really hope that it doesn't remember everything.

When someone looks at your baby pictures and jokingly says 'Aww you were soo cute!...

When someone looks at your baby pictures and jokingly says 'Aww you were soo cute!...

Snooki is expecting her baby on December 21, 2012. I guess the Mayans knew what...

Snooki is expecting her baby on December 21, 2012. I guess the Mayans knew what...