I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Quote by Elayne Boosler

Topics: Elayne Boosler Quotes

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

Ever notice that Soup for One is eight aisles away from Party Mix?

To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.

To listen to your own silence is the key to comedy.

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus...

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus...

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's...

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's...

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

I'm just a person trapped inside a woman's body.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out,...

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out,...

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a...

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a...

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a...

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a...