I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.

Quote by Brendan Behan

Topics: Brendan Behan Quotes

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.

Other people have a nationality. The Irish and the Jews have a psychosis.

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

If it was raining soup, the Irish would go out with forks.

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack...

It's not that the Irish are cynical. It's rather that they have a wonderful lack...

When I came back to Dublin I was court marshaled in my absence and sentenced...

When I came back to Dublin I was court marshaled in my absence and sentenced...

Pound notes are the best religion in the world.

Pound notes are the best religion in the world.

New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment... a place where you're...

New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment... a place where you're...

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge...

Shakespeare said pretty well everything and what he left out, James Joyce, with a judge...

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely...

The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely...

I wish I'd been a mixed infant.

I wish I'd been a mixed infant.

I saw a notice that said Drink Canada Dry and I've just started.

I saw a notice that said Drink Canada Dry and I've just started.

I say myself no depressed words just depressed minds.

I say myself no depressed words just depressed minds.

I am a daylight atheist.

I am a daylight atheist.

I saw a notice which said, 'Drink Canada Dry' and I've just started.

I saw a notice which said, 'Drink Canada Dry' and I've just started.

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I...

I was court-martialled in my absence, and sentenced to death in my absence, so I...

It is a good deed to forget a poor joke.

It is a good deed to forget a poor joke.

One drink is too many for me and a thousand not enough.

One drink is too many for me and a thousand not enough.

There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.

There is no such thing as bad publicity except your own obituary.

Ah, bless you, Sister, may all your sons be bishops.

Ah, bless you, Sister, may all your sons be bishops.

All publicity is good, except an obituary notice.

All publicity is good, except an obituary notice.

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it...

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it's done, they've seen it...