I have a microwave fireplace in my house. The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes.

Quote by Stephen Wright

Topics: Houses Quotes

I invented the cordless extension cord.

I invented the cordless extension cord.

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint,...

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint,...

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint,...

I've been doing a lot of abstract painting lately, extremely abstract. No brush, no paint,...

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...

I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my...

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My...

One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody's satellite dish. My...

Well, you know when you're rocking in a rocking chair, and you go so far...

Well, you know when you're rocking in a rocking chair, and you go so far...

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

I wrote a few children's books... not on purpose.

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a...

When I turned two I was really anxious, because I'd doubled my age in a...

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the...

Boy, life takes a long time to live

Boy, life takes a long time to live

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

I had to stop driving my car for a while... the tires got dizzy.

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped...

Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped...

I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new...

I wrote a song, but I can't read music. Every time I hear a new...

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing...

The other day when I was walking through the woods, I saw a rabbit standing...

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

There's a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

Fishing, with me, has always been an excuse to drink in the daytime

Fishing, with me, has always been an excuse to drink in the daytime

Fishing provides that connection with the whole living world. It gives you the opportunity of...

Fishing provides that connection with the whole living world. It gives you the opportunity of...

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of...

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of...