Home
Quotes
Picture quotes
Random
Facebook Covers
Home
Quotes
Picture quotes
Random
Facebook Covers
I don't like small birds. They hop around so merrily outside my window, looking so innocent. but I know that secretly, they're watching my every move and plotting to beat me over the head with a large steel pipe and…
Quote by Jack Handy
Topics:
Animals Quotes
Related Quotes
Ambition is like a frog sitting on a Venus Flytrap. The flytrap can bite and...
I bet it was pretty hard to pick up girls if you had the Black...
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to tell...
The whole town laughed at my great-grandfather, just because he worked hard and saved his...
If you go flying back through time and you see somebody else flying forward into...
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again,...
Maybe in order to understand mankind we have to look at that word itself. MANKIND....
I hope that after I die, people will say of me: That guy sure owed...
If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers...
The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering hole...
It's interesting to think that my ancestors used to live in the trees, like apes,...
It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I...
And after you're real drunk, maybe go down to the public park and stagger around...
He was a cowboy, mister, and he loved the land. He loved it so much...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then,...
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and...
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of...
Laughter is one of the very privileges of reason, being confined to the human species.
I always knew looking back on my tears would bring me laughter, but I never...
At first, I only laughed at myself. Then I noticed that life itself is amusing....