I don't have wild dogs chasing people with scripts away from my door. I get my share. I've done okay. But I usually do independent stuff because that's mostly what I'm offered.

Quote by Billy Connolly

Topics: Billy Connolly Quotes

I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go...

I don't know why I should have to learn Algebra... I'm never likely to go...

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture...

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture...

I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.

I love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.

I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful....

I'm a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world's a wonderful....

I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I...

I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I...

I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.

I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those...

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those...

To keep the fire burning brightly there's one easy rule: Keep the two logs together,...

To keep the fire burning brightly there's one easy rule: Keep the two logs together,...

I'm famous for my bottom dances, but you'll only see my bum and willy if...

I'm famous for my bottom dances, but you'll only see my bum and willy if...

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares?...

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that, who cares?...

Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.

Ally MacLeod thinks that tactics are a new kind of mint.

The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America...

The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America...

Oh aye...my Father would thrash me every now and then. He'd talk while he did...

Oh aye...my Father would thrash me every now and then. He'd talk while he did...

I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a...

I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a...

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was...

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was...

I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of...

I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of...

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.

It's scary that 50% of all marriages end in divorce...it's even scarier that the other...

It's scary that 50% of all marriages end in divorce...it's even scarier that the other...

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to...

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to...

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the...

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the...