I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.

Quote by Joseph Heller

Topics: Joseph Heller Quotes

I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.

I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.

The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as...

The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as...

I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole...

I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the whole...

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the...

Frankly, I'd like to see the government get out of war altogether and leave the...

When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as Catch-22 I'm tempted...

When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as Catch-22 I'm tempted...

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's...

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's...

I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.

I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.

Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication,...

Success and failure are both difficult to endure. Along with success come drugs, divorce, fornication,...

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust...

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust...

Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.

Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.

I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared...

I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared...

Every writer I know has trouble writing.

Every writer I know has trouble writing.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that...

Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that...

I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have...

I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have...

Rise above principle and do what's right.

Rise above principle and do what's right.

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly...

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly...