Hungry Joe collected lists of fatal diseases and arranged them in alphabetical order so that he could put his finger without delay on any one he wanted to worry about.

Quote by Joseph Heller

Topics: Joseph Heller Quotes

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's...

The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's...

I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.

I had examined myself pretty thoroughly and discovered that I was unfit for military service.

The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as...

The Lord gave us farmers two strong hands so we could grab as much as...

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.

We do have a zeal for laughter in most situations, give or take a dentist.

I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.

I don't believe in miracles because it's been a long time since we've had any.

When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as Catch-22 I'm tempted...

When I read something saying I've not done anything as good as Catch-22 I'm tempted...

Every writer I know has trouble writing.

Every writer I know has trouble writing.

Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in...

Lots of people who complained about us receiving the MBE received theirs for heroism in...

But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that...

But that was war. Just about all he could find in its favor was that...

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

When I grow up I want to be a little boy.

He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.

He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody.

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.

He knew everything about literature except how to enjoy it.

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust...

Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust...

Rise above principle and do what's right.

Rise above principle and do what's right.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.

Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.

Peace on earth would mean the end of civilization as we know it.

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly...

There was only one catch and that was Catch-22. Orr would be crazy to fly...

I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared...

I think in every country that there is at least one executive who is scared...

I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have...

I want to keep my dreams, even bad ones, because without them, I might have...