Happy Leap Day! Use it to do something adventurous that you'd never normally do! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get my bikini wax.

Topics: Funny Quotes, Leap Year Quotes

Be nice to everyone on your way to the top because you pass them all...

Be nice to everyone on your way to the top because you pass them all...

I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when...

I have always paid income tax. I object only when it reaches a stage when...

Learn to live in this world with self-respect. You should always cherish some ambition of...

Learn to live in this world with self-respect. You should always cherish some ambition of...

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

I once shook hands with Pat Boone and my whole right side sobered up.

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive...

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive...

What's the most popular pastime in America? Autoeroticism, hands down.

What's the most popular pastime in America? Autoeroticism, hands down.

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes....

After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes....

As I get older, I just prefer to knit.

As I get older, I just prefer to knit.

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are...

Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build bridges even when there are...

I never did very well in mathI could never seem to persuade the teacher that...

I never did very well in mathI could never seem to persuade the teacher that...

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an...

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an...

I speak two languages, Body and English.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

They should make Mondays illegal.

They should make Mondays illegal.

In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of...

In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of...

Do you know that Old Age may come after you with equal grace, force, fascination?

Do you know that Old Age may come after you with equal grace, force, fascination?

Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said...

Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said...

When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

When the pin is pulled, Mr. Grenade is not our friend.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

Shout out to all the people born in 1928 celebrating their 21st birthday! Happy Leap...

Shout out to all the people born in 1928 celebrating their 21st birthday! Happy Leap...

Happy Leap Day. A day where 'this time last year' and 'this time next year'...

Happy Leap Day. A day where 'this time last year' and 'this time next year'...