Happy Leap Day...An extra day to deal with stupid people.

Topics: Funny Quotes, Leap Year Quotes

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank...

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank...

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you...

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you...

We got new advice as to what motivated man to walk upright: to free his...

We got new advice as to what motivated man to walk upright: to free his...

I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad...

I like these cold, gray winter days. Days like these let you savor a bad...

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when...

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when...

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

Computers are useless. They can only give you answers.

Nature is always behind the age.

Nature is always behind the age.

I think he [Archie Bunker] is in every man my age, no matter what he...

I think he [Archie Bunker] is in every man my age, no matter what he...

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography until after they're dead.

There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you...

There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you...

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and Im not sure about the...

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and Im not sure about the...

The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.

The ball retriever is not long enough to get my putter out of the tree.

Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.

Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.

I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my...

I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my...

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

Middle age is youth without levity, and age without decay.

Middle age is youth without levity, and age without decay.

I'm all about sharing the road with other drivers...as long as they use the part...

I'm all about sharing the road with other drivers...as long as they use the part...

My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.

My play was a complete success. The audience was a failure.

Happy leap day everybody. You only get one every four years so make sure you...

Happy leap day everybody. You only get one every four years so make sure you...

Happy Leap Day. A day where 'this time last year' and 'this time next year'...

Happy Leap Day. A day where 'this time last year' and 'this time next year'...