Hand wash only = 'Machine wash, gentle cycle.'
Me fail english? Thats unpossible.
Nothing more cheerful than talking about our friends shortcomings.
Weve all met people who are supposedly incredibly intelligent but dont know which way to...
Today is a leap year and women are supposed to pluck up some courage and...
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself.
Old age is no place for sissies.
My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he...
Sometimes when my internet is down I forget the rest of my computer still works....
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the...
Some of the dirtiest dogs, past and present, had mothers.
There aren't enough days in the weekend.
Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people remembering the same thing.
I am about to go Tebow on my Monday.
Drunks do not have friends, but accomplices.
You cant get too much winter in the winter.
I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead.
There are two things an average girl wishes; to find the perfect guy and to...
I was about half in love with her by the time we sat down. That's...