Hand wash only = 'Machine wash, gentle cycle.'
Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung.
Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
You can always tell a real friend: When you make a fool of yourself, he...
Those who do not study are only cattle dressed up in mens clothes.
My two favorite colors of the rainbow are gold and leprechaun.
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
Most of the time when people laugh at me...I'm not trying to be funny.
There are now more TV's in British households than there are people - which is...
So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser...
Learning acquired in youth arrests the evil of old age; and if you understand that...
The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second.
What could be more beautiful than a dear old lady growing wise with age? Every...
Ever have that one friend who gets a Valentine's Day gift for their mother? Doens't...
The golden age is before us, not behind us.
For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the...
Females : they hate it when you ask their age, but they'll kill you if...
Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and...
Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.
After all, a girl is - well, a girl. It's nice to be told you're...