Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too.
Quote by Charles Baxter
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
Everybody wants to live forever, but nobody wants to grow old.
Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way...
It is a blessed thing that in every age someone has had the individuality enough...
About age 30 most women think about having children, most men think about dating them.
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
The only completely consistent people are the dead.
I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved.
Your body is the baggage you must carry through life. The more excess the baggage,...
You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he...
Eating Taco Bell is like sleeping with your ex. I feel horrible afterwards and I'm...
Roger Ebert has had his right thumb trademarked. Now the police will actually have to...
I want to be happy and sad at the same time. Yeah, I know it...
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year.
Baseball is 90% mental. The other half is physical.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
In Hollywood, if you don't have happiness you send out for it.
I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy
There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working.