Gainfully unemployed, very proud of it, too.

Quote by Charles Baxter

Topics: Funny Quotes, Retirement Quotes

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have...

I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have...

I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.

I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away.

Congratulate yourselves if you have done something strange and extravagant and broken the monotony of...

Congratulate yourselves if you have done something strange and extravagant and broken the monotony of...

The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.

The trouble with children is that they are not returnable.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

If opinions are like assholes, then a lot of opinions wear Ed Hardy shirts.

If opinions are like assholes, then a lot of opinions wear Ed Hardy shirts.

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?

I can't even get three weeks off to have cosmetic surgery.

I can't even get three weeks off to have cosmetic surgery.

I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.

I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.

I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said,...

I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said,...

I believe in getting into hot water. I think it keeps you clean.

I believe in getting into hot water. I think it keeps you clean.

So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser...

So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser...

Martyrdom is the only way a man can become famous without ability.

Martyrdom is the only way a man can become famous without ability.

The control of nature is a phrase conceived in arrogance, born of the Neanderthal age...

The control of nature is a phrase conceived in arrogance, born of the Neanderthal age...

The pyramids themselves, doting with age, have forgotten the names of their founders.

The pyramids themselves, doting with age, have forgotten the names of their founders.

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from...

The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from...

Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said...

Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said...

Though I look old, yet I am strong and lusty; for in my youth I...

Though I look old, yet I am strong and lusty; for in my youth I...

There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working.

There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working.

I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box.

I will not retire while I've still got my legs and my make-up box.