Fake news executives are nicer than real news executives, though real news executives are funnier than fake news executives. They dont know theyre being funny.

Quote by Stephen Colbert

Topics: Reality Quotes, Statistics Quotes

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

Truthiness is tearing apart our country, and I don't mean the argument over who came...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to...

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts...

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

In order to be a top-tier candidate, I need 7.5 million dollars, and I currently...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He...

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

People are constantly saying, 'How's it feel to have such an impact?' I just want...

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

I don't trust books. They're all fact and no heart.

Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to...

Believe in me, cause I don't believe in anything, and I wanna be someone to...

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK...

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted...

A person without a sense of humor is like a wagon without springs. It's jolted...

Well, it's a humor strip, so my first responsibility has always been to entertain the...

Well, it's a humor strip, so my first responsibility has always been to entertain the...