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War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making...

Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making...

Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they...

Cynic, n: a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they...

Incompatibility: In matrimony, a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

Incompatibility: In matrimony, a similarity of tastes, particularly the taste for domination.

PALMISTRY, n. The 947th method (according to Mimbleshaw's classification) of obtaining money by false pretences....

PALMISTRY, n. The 947th method (according to Mimbleshaw's classification) of obtaining money by false pretences....

Infidel: In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople,...

Infidel: In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople,...

Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

Anoint, v.: To grease a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.

Confidante: One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.

Confidante: One entrusted by A with the secrets of B confided to herself by C.

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.

Coward: One who, in a perilous emergency, thinks with his legs.

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

Fork: An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

DELEGATION, n. In American politics, an article of merchandise that comes in sets.

LEVIATHAN, n. An enormous aquatic animal mentioned by Job. Some suppose it to have been...

LEVIATHAN, n. An enormous aquatic animal mentioned by Job. Some suppose it to have been...

Optimism: The doctrine that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the...

Optimism: The doctrine that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the...

Politeness is the most acceptable hypocrisy

Politeness is the most acceptable hypocrisy

Reconsider, v. To seek a justification for a decision already made.

Reconsider, v. To seek a justification for a decision already made.

Infidel: In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople,...

Infidel: In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople,...

Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly...

Childhood: the period of human life intermediate between the idiocy of infancy and the folly...

MUMMY, n. An ancient Egyptian, formerly in universal use among modern civilized nations as medicine,...

MUMMY, n. An ancient Egyptian, formerly in universal use among modern civilized nations as medicine,...

Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

Learning, n. The kind of ignorance distinguishing the studious.

The covers of this book are too far apart.

The covers of this book are too far apart.