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Peter: Cant we tell them that your mother died? Lois: Peter, Im not gonna lie...

Peter: Cant we tell them that your mother died? Lois: Peter, Im not gonna lie...

It doesn't matter if you're black or white... the only color that really matters is...

It doesn't matter if you're black or white... the only color that really matters is...

Stewie: What the hell is this? Lois: Sweetie, thats tuna salad. Stewie: Oh, is that...

Stewie: What the hell is this? Lois: Sweetie, thats tuna salad. Stewie: Oh, is that...

Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

All right, all right, make like Siamese twins and split... And then one of you...

All right, all right, make like Siamese twins and split... And then one of you...

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, theres a message in my Alphabits. It says, Oooooo. Brian:...

Peter: Oh my god, Brian, theres a message in my Alphabits. It says, Oooooo. Brian:...

Hey, Mother! I come bearing a gift. Ill give you a hint: its in my...

Hey, Mother! I come bearing a gift. Ill give you a hint: its in my...

And Joe, Ive had new neighbors before, but none of them were half the man...

And Joe, Ive had new neighbors before, but none of them were half the man...

Police blotter: We have a gang shooting on 3rd and Main. Three wounded, one dead....

Police blotter: We have a gang shooting on 3rd and Main. Three wounded, one dead....

Lois: Peter, why would they make you president? Peter: Maybe its because I can recite...

Lois: Peter, why would they make you president? Peter: Maybe its because I can recite...

Meg: Excuse me, Mayor West? Adam West: How do you know my language?

Meg: Excuse me, Mayor West? Adam West: How do you know my language?

I think the lesson here is, it really doesnt matter where youre from, as long...

I think the lesson here is, it really doesnt matter where youre from, as long...

Quagmire: Hey there, Gorgeous, how old are you? Connie: Sixteen. Quagmire: Eighteen? Connie: Mom! Quagmire:...

Quagmire: Hey there, Gorgeous, how old are you? Connie: Sixteen. Quagmire: Eighteen? Connie: Mom! Quagmire:...

Sorry Meg. Daddy loves ya, but Daddy also loves Star Trek, and in all fairness,...

Sorry Meg. Daddy loves ya, but Daddy also loves Star Trek, and in all fairness,...

I had such a crush on her. Until I met you, Lois. Youre my silver...

I had such a crush on her. Until I met you, Lois. Youre my silver...

Brian Griffin: Hey, how about a little less questions and a little more SHUT THE...

Brian Griffin: Hey, how about a little less questions and a little more SHUT THE...

Guns dont kill people; dangerous minorities do. -Gun-rights advocate

Guns dont kill people; dangerous minorities do. -Gun-rights advocate

Dear McGyver: Enclosed is a paper clip, a rubber band, and a drinking straw. Please...

Dear McGyver: Enclosed is a paper clip, a rubber band, and a drinking straw. Please...

Whats this? Blueberries! Oh, oh my G... Oh, thats better than sex! -Stewie Griffin

Whats this? Blueberries! Oh, oh my G... Oh, thats better than sex! -Stewie Griffin

Lois: Good, I dont have to cook. Peter: Oh, no, go ahead and cook anyway,...

Lois: Good, I dont have to cook. Peter: Oh, no, go ahead and cook anyway,...