Ive sprouted another finger. Counting the one from yesterday, Im up to 11. -Baby Stewie

Quote by Family Guy

Topics: Family Guy Quotes

Police blotter: We have a gang shooting on 3rd and Main. Three wounded, one dead....

Police blotter: We have a gang shooting on 3rd and Main. Three wounded, one dead....

When I stick this army guy with the sharp bayonette up my nose, it tickles...

When I stick this army guy with the sharp bayonette up my nose, it tickles...

Guns dont kill people; dangerous minorities do. -Gun-rights advocate

Guns dont kill people; dangerous minorities do. -Gun-rights advocate

I will not stand idly by while you abrogate my plans! You shall rue this...

I will not stand idly by while you abrogate my plans! You shall rue this...

Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

Hey, Mother! I come bearing a gift. Ill give you a hint: its in my...

Hey, Mother! I come bearing a gift. Ill give you a hint: its in my...

Meg: Excuse me, Mayor West? Adam West: How do you know my language?

Meg: Excuse me, Mayor West? Adam West: How do you know my language?

I want pancakes! God, do you people understand every language except English? Yo quiero pancakes!...

I want pancakes! God, do you people understand every language except English? Yo quiero pancakes!...

Lois: Peter, why would they make you president? Peter: Maybe its because I can recite...

Lois: Peter, why would they make you president? Peter: Maybe its because I can recite...

Peter: Cant we tell them that your mother died? Lois: Peter, Im not gonna lie...

Peter: Cant we tell them that your mother died? Lois: Peter, Im not gonna lie...

Brian Griffin: Hey, how about a little less questions and a little more SHUT THE...

Brian Griffin: Hey, how about a little less questions and a little more SHUT THE...

All right, all right, make like Siamese twins and split... And then one of you...

All right, all right, make like Siamese twins and split... And then one of you...

I think the lesson here is, it really doesnt matter where youre from, as long...

I think the lesson here is, it really doesnt matter where youre from, as long...

Lois: Good, I dont have to cook. Peter: Oh, no, go ahead and cook anyway,...

Lois: Good, I dont have to cook. Peter: Oh, no, go ahead and cook anyway,...

Stewie: What the hell is this? Lois: Sweetie, thats tuna salad. Stewie: Oh, is that...

Stewie: What the hell is this? Lois: Sweetie, thats tuna salad. Stewie: Oh, is that...

Dear McGyver: Enclosed is a paper clip, a rubber band, and a drinking straw. Please...

Dear McGyver: Enclosed is a paper clip, a rubber band, and a drinking straw. Please...

Dear diary: Jackpot. -Glen Quagmire

Dear diary: Jackpot. -Glen Quagmire

Theres always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and its not so...

Theres always been a lot of tension between Lois and me, and its not so...

And Joe, Ive had new neighbors before, but none of them were half the man...

And Joe, Ive had new neighbors before, but none of them were half the man...

I had such a crush on her. Until I met you, Lois. Youre my silver...

I had such a crush on her. Until I met you, Lois. Youre my silver...